Normal life

Getting back to normal life is hard.

We left for NC last Friday. J, K, and I got to Mamaw and Papaw's around midnight. I slept well. We had to leave on Friday and not Saturday morning because we wanted to view the body.

It didn't look like Granddaddy. But then, it kind of did. I stared at him for a good while before I started crying. I think it still hasn't sunk in yet. Or maybe it did 2 years ago when his Dementia symptoms worsened.

He was cremated on Easter. I think that was perfect.

The memorial service was nice. I didn't really cry. I didn't have the emotions or the energy to by that time. I was sitting right in front of his picture, and I just kept staring at it. The only time my eyes teared up was when the preacher said something about Granddaddy loving his grandchildren. At that moment, I had never missed anyone more in my life.

Grandma gave me his binoculars and I took a few ties. J wore one of them to the memorial.

They brought the urn over to the house after the service. It is a beautiful cherry wood box. Grandma sat it on her dresser with pictures of Granddaddy around it. I patted the box and blew it a kiss.

I miss you!

Normal life is a daze. I think I have been a bit sluggish since we got back home.

Today was better. There were more classes to occupy my time and J and I went out for sushi. I feel sick. I just want to go to bed.

But I don't mean to make life sound so down. It is alright, just hard to get going again.