Be Okay

Wednesday.  Mid-week.  Time drags sometimes.

Maybe because I'm battling a sinus infection and sleep like 12 hours in a day in between classes and other various life activities.  But the weekend can't get here much slower.

I must confess.  I did some shopping yesterday.  I went to Hobby Lobby to buy some fabrics for my next project.  But it was all 30% off, okay?  And then, I went to the mall and bought some shoes...

Yes.  Me.  The complainer whining about no money.  Yeah.  I went out a bought a pair of athletic shoes.  I've been wanting something else to wear during 'breezy' weather other than my TOMS.  I love my TOMS, don't get me wrong.  But obviously being a shoe that is meant to be worn without socks, there's not much warmth during those 50-60 degree days.  A little too cold for sandals.

And frankly, I hate wearing my bulky athletic shoes with blue jeans.  Jeans are my staple and wear them almost everyday.  Call me vain, but I think I look ridiculous with my skinny jeans and big ol' Asics.  No thanks.

Yes, I'm just trying to justify my purchase.  I love the New Balance 442 shoes because they are athletic shoes but are not bulky and fit well with jeans.  So after Hobby Lobby, I trotted off to the mall.  And I found a pair.  $39.97 on sale.  Go me.

I whine a lot a lot about money.  Jarred and I are not well-off by any stretch of the imagination, but we're not living in poverty either.  I think we've been putting so much pressure on ourselves to save up for a house that we always felt like we were broke.

So we've stopped feeling like that.  Yeah, we'll save up little by little.  But I'm going through the cleansing process of being okay with our current situation.  We know what kind of loan we could get and it's not what we want to look at right now.  So we wait.  And I'm okay with that.

Knock on wood, but I'm slowly becoming okay with the prospect of living in this apartment for a little longer.  Just because I can't paint the walls doesn't mean I can't decorate.  Just because we don't own the place doesn't mean we can't make it our own.  This is home.  It's just not a house.

This morning before I got up for the day, I was looking around our bedroom and thinking of the things I want to do this summer with our furniture.  I then began thinking of my friends that are already in houses.  I'm feeling less and less envious of them.  They have a mortgage.  Some are paying double what Jarred and I pay in rent and are either just out of college or still in school.  I can imagine that there were a few mommies and daddies that helped out with some down payments.  Good for them.  But now they're left with gag-inducing mortgages.

And houses need repairs from time to time.  And that costs money.  When our disposal burnt out, the maintenance men came out the very same day we called in the work.  I understand that Jarred and I end up eating the costs with our rent, but still.  We'd be paying the same rent regardless of whether something in our apartment crapped out each month.

I don't have as big a space to clean.  Which is good.  Because at this point, I don't think I could handle anything bigger because I'm not that neat of a person anyway.

And I haven't heard Miss Neighbor Lady in a while.  Jarred and I stopped caring a while ago and began jacking our TV volume up to 11 (if you get this reference, good for you) and can't hear anyone else's noise.  Some women moved in beside us last week.  Haven't seen them since.

This was a long post just to remind myself that at this moment, I am okay with where we are.  Jarred and I are young and newlyweds and we should enjoy.  We are not wasteful with our money, but I feel like if we occasionally want something - within reason - we can go get it.  We should be able to go out and do things.  We've put way to much priority in zooming through our early 20s to the next phase in life that we have forgotten to enjoy now.  At this point in time, would we rather spend $50 doing something special like a night out and a movie or putting it in savings?  I think I'll take the option that doesn't trick me into thinking I'm miserable, thanks.

I hope this was a happy, upbeat post and it makes you think about both today and the future.  I absolutely believe in saving for future plans, but you can only live in the present.  So maybe try to enjoy!