Officially Official

I'll be honest. I almost wished I hadn't jumped the gun and announced to the Blogger universe that I was changing my major back to art. Because (being honest) I wasn't sure how I was going to back-peddle and tell everyone I wasn't actually going to change my major to art and that it was just me being hysterical and silly.  With some thought, I figured out all I really want to do is graduate as quickly as possible.

Except, I did change my major.

I almost didn't go through with it.  Change is super hard for me and I have had thoughts before about changing my major. And then I got over my hissy fit of how much I hated finance and went back to studying.

Everyone has their breaking point.  And this was mine.  It's not as though this semester is worse than last.  Nothing can be worse than last semester.  Ever.  Even though I'm taking bare minimum hours, I still hate what I'm doing.  And then I came to a cross road.

But still.  Change is hard.

Since we're being honest, I'll tell you that I contemplated never going to the art department, even after e-mailing with the department head.  I was in class this afternoon and was having a battle inside my head over whether to make the leap.  Because did I mention I hate change?

I think I give partial credit of making me take the leap to one of my dear classmates.  Some other finance students and I were discussing a test we had taken on Monday.  None of us were excited to see the results.  My sweet friend blurted out, "You know, I might not be graduating soon if all the tests are as hard as the first.  Too bad I'm not in a easy bullshit major like art or music."

I said nothing.  Actually, it didn't strike a nerve.  At all.  Remember, I'm being honest here.  It didn't phase me.  In fact, I smiled at her comment.  She doesn't understand.  She doesn't get how everything in life can be beautiful and can be recreated using a paintbrush, carving knife, loom, or even your own hands.  She doesn't get how good it feels to create something and be proud of it.  She will never experience the joy of taking an idea from her own head and turning it into something tangible and sharing it with others.  She doesn't understand.

Class ended.  I waved goodbye to my friends and made my way to what has already become my sanctuary.  Up many flights of stairs, I was huffing and puffing.  And when I arrived, I felt like crying.

Beautiful prints on the wall.  I spotted some intricate tapestries hung by rods.  Students were discussing art techniques.  This place really exists?

And I met with the head of the department and he was wonderful.  We talked for a good while about what I wanted from the major and what we'll do to achieve it.  I felt like I needed someone to hear me out.  I needed him to care about why I was coming back to art.  Why I had left.  And why I was unhappy.  Because I've had the answers bottled up inside me for almost 2 years.

He listened, nodded, and said that I need to go where my heart really is.  He understood.  And then he welcomed me back home.

I'm sitting at the computer right now eating my soft-boiled egg with toast.  A wonderful late lunch to celebrate finding what I've been searching for.  The paperwork hasn't gone in yet, but it doesn't matter.  I am calling myself officially official now.  Yes, I think I am back home.

I Am

Tired.

But through this sleepiness, I feel free.

Free of worry, doubt, and anything negative.

This depression that has surrounded my life has been lifted and the only way to describe my mood is: good.

I am good.

I haven't been able to say that in a long while. But tonight I can truly feel it.

There is still no house. No extra income. Nothing.

But I feel free from everything that made me sad.

I am good.

Hello.  My name is Meaghan and I am ... an art major again.

Favorite Cleaning Products

I've been trying especially hard nowadays to keep our apartment clean.  I got into such a funk and was mopey and depressed about the state and smell of our home.

We live in an apartment that is not very insulated.  We put up curtains partly to keep utility costs down because we could feel air rushing into the the apartment through gaps in the seal.  Besides for higher heating/cooling costs, we have neighbors that smoke outside.  And that comes in through the window cracks too.  Even though neither Jarred nor I smoke, our clothes, furniture, appliances, and everything smell like stale cigarettes.  I haven't been wanting to spend a small fortune on air fresheners since they can get expensive fast.

When Jarred and I were in NC for Spring Break, I pulled my clothes for the day out of the suitcase.  It stunk.  So did my windbreaker.  Being away from the apartment, I noticed the smell right away.  Gross.  The smell was so rancid, it gave me a headache.  And then I'd had it.  When we got back home, I went to the grocery store and ended up buying a Glade PlugIn and solid air freshener because a stranger gave me a nice coupon they weren't using.  I also got the strongest scent I could, which ended up being Apple Cinnamon.

(Photos courtesy of glade.com)

This stuff works.  I love coming into the apartment and smelling something other than smoke.  It smells nice and I restocked this past Monday. I believe I payed around $5-$6 for the Scented Oil twin refill.  Each once lasts around 2 weeks.  So $6 per month for the Scented Oils.  I don't know how long the solid air freshener will last, but it's holding up well and next week will be going into week 3.

Some people really like hardwood floors.  I think they're a pain, especially with a dog.  But carpet also sucks, so which is the lesser of two evils?  I love my Swiffer WetJet, but honestly, it's expensive.  I hate buying the refills of cleaning pads and solution.  Hate.  It drains the wallet so fast.  Last Sunday I saw an advertisement for Rubbermaid's Reveal Mop.  It's just like the Swiffer, but reusable.  Comes with a microfiber pad and refillable solution bottle.  I found it on sale at Target for around $24 and bought an extra pad for $5.  I used it right when I got home. 

 

(Photo courtesy of amazon.com)

Love. Love. Love.  The pad is much bigger than the Swiffer pad, so it takes me less time to mop.  And there's no batteries that power the squirter, unlike the Swiffer.  The Reveal has a lever you pull and solution squirts onto the floor.  Simple.  I recommend using distilled water because tap water may clog the mop.  I'm surprised that only now have companies come out with greener solutions to cleaning. 

As for all-purpose cleaners, I use Mr. Clean.  Love the Meadows and Rain Febreze scent and can use it for floors, kitchen, and bathroom.  

 (Photo courtesy of mrclean.com)

Since I only have to use a small amount for effective cleaning, I feel like I am saving money by buying this.  We don't really buy name brands except for when it comes to cleaning.  We buy generic dish soap and detergent to cut costs where we can.


I've also learned a few tricks to keep everything smelling good.  I bought a box of fabric softener sheets and hide them everywhere!  I have them tucked in drawers, shoes, and tacked to the walls in our closets.  I'll change them out once the scent it gone.

I'm not good at keeping things clean for very long, but I'm trying.  Maybe that's a good thing about still being in an apartment.  I can hardly keep up with this, so how am I going to keep a house clean?  Something to keep in mind....

Addict

I'm a little addicted to Pinterest. Take a peek at the website and then come back and tell me you don't want to participate as well.  If you do want to participate, let me know, I can send you an invitation.  Pinterest is in its beginning stages, so it's by invite only.  I feel like I can't explain the concept well enough to do it justice.

I've been getting a lot of creative vibes from Pinterest and have many ideas lined up.  I'll let you see what I've done once those projects come to fruition.

It's another beautiful day, even though it's about to rain.  I have the curtains thrown open and my candles melting on the warmers.  Right now I feel like I'm at the beach, melting Seaside Holiday.  In the bedroom, I'm melting Soft Blanket and the bathroom smells like Sunflowers.  Good day.

I'll leave you with a video and photo.  My new obsession comes in the form of a musician which doesn't happen that often.  I'm sure everyone's heard of Adele by now, but in case you haven't, here's her new single from her new album:

Powerful voice and I really respect her for not falling to the pressures of 'thin' Hollywood.

I took some pictures of myself in my two new dresses Mom bought me, but I only like one of the photos.  This is the dress that will be worn to weddings this year:

Please excuse the wild, pulled-back hair.  Louie had an early vet appointment and I didn't feel like dolling myself up.  Jarred loves this dress because of the detailing around the neckline.  It may be difficult to see, but it's like little flowers.  I loved this dress, but it's growing on me even more.  The other dress is white with little black stripes (not appropriate for weddings - only the bride wears white) but I couldn't get a decent photo.  It will be my Easter dress, so there will surely be photos up in late April.

I'm still battling some health problems, but thankfully I get to be home a lot to nurse my poor stomach.  Also gives me plenty of time for housework, schoolwork, and crafti-ness.

When I look at life that way, yes, it's quite easy to see how blessed I am.

Inspire Me

I love inspired projects.  Completely original results.

Lots of times I have a difficult time thinking up cute crafts on my own.

Thankfully I have Jarred.  Back story:

Mom and Dad bought our bedding back in '09 when Jarred and I moved into our apartment.  We love it.  Seriously.  But I've yet to find an accent pillow that matches the quilt pattern and/or color.  Sis was able to find satin the perfect green color to make us pillows for Christmas, but I haven't found anything myself.

Fed up with our blah-looking bed, I vowed to Jarred that I would make an accent pillow myself.

Without missing a beat, Jarred said, "Accent pillow?  Is that a pillow that says "'Ello!  Would you like to lay your 'ead on me?""

And thus, this project was born.

 

I made this in one afternoon and am proudly displaying it next to our bed. While I am still in the amateur stages of embroidery, I still love it.  Unfortunately, I still have no accent pillow for the bed.

One project at a time Meaghan.

I was recently invited to participate in Pinterest, a website that allows you to 'pin' pictures and ideas to a 'pinboard'.  I have just started getting the hang of it, but if you'd like to check it out, here's my personal link.

Up and Down

Days go by way too quickly.  I feel like I was just waking up a few hours ago and now it's almost 9:30 at night.

Today has been very up and down for me.  I felt good this morning knowing my grocery bill would be minimal because it's "Use What You've Got Week" here.  I also bought a bunch of embroidery hoops for around $7 and a new mop that replaces my Swiffer WetJet.

I felt bad when I called to reschedule an eye appointment and the receptionist was not very nice, telling me I had called the wrong office (my doctor has several offices he works at different days of the week) and that this would be the one and only time she would reschedule for me since I was wrong to call her office instead of the one my appointment was at.

I felt good getting out of class early because the teacher was quick with lecture.  I was starving and wanted to get home to begin making a good dinner of baked macaroni and cheese.

I felt bad when I logged onto Facebook and saw that yet another friend had posted pictures of the construction of her first home.

Actually, that one made me feel really bad.

I finished an embroidery project this evening and had the intention of showcasing it tonight but I really don't feel like it now.  It's always up and down with emotions.  And it's frustrating.  And tiring.

Simple Ways to Happiness

I want to begin a new blog series about happiness.  The title of the post is very self-explanatory.  Today will be about one way I get happy.

I've been more cheerful these past few days.  Feels good.

Jarred is still pretty sick but stayed home Friday and went to the doctor.  Got a shot and some antibiotics so I hope he'll be feeling much better very soon.

I made us some chicken salad for lunch this afternoon and it was great.  There is a sandwich and ice cream shoppe here in town that makes great chicken salad without celery (important!) and I could eat it every day.  I didn't have grapes, which is what this shoppe uses, but a green apple.  I had a chicken breast left over after  making Monday's stuffed shells dinner, so I thought chicken salad would be a good use for the breast.  I added a bit more sugar than I thought I would need, but it turned out to be perfect.  Slapped on some toast, it was perfect.  Too bad I didn't get a picture because I was proud.

Jarred and I got to talking about money and came to the conclusion that we shouldn't depress ourselves further by being so hard about not spending a dime.  Yes, we want so badly to save money for a house, but can I be honest here?  Right now, I'm tired of being depressed about it and I'm tired of worrying about saving every last penny we can.  I'm tired of saying "No, no, no" to everything.  It's not as if we go out and buy fun items all the time anyway.  Hardly ever.  So rarely in fact that I get excited to grocery shop when I get to buy something that's not a regular on my list -- like laundry detergent or mascara.  Seriously.

So we went out today for just a little while (since Jarred is still feeling a bit sick) to the mall.  We went to Yankee Candle and I bought an electric tart warmer and 16 tarts.  And I used money gifted to me by grandparents from our trip.  So I ended up spending a little over $11 of our own money.  Big spender here.

I get excited about candles.  Because they can last forever if I use them in a warmer.  Even when I'm in a bad mood, the smell of Seaside Holiday or Rainforest or Early Morning transports me.  And I'm happy.

So yes, it may be silly, but I've found a simple way to happiness through the sense of smell.  I also guess that a clean, good smelling home is happier than one that smells of nothing!

Balsamic-Glazed Steak

As promised, I am posting the steak recipe I mentioned a few days ago.  I prepared the steak before lunch so there would be time for the flavors to really sink into the meat.

Here are our players:

Again, click the picture to see it up close.  And please excuse my 'balsmaic' vinegar typo.

There aren't any measurements for this recipe.  Sorry.  I will tell you about how much I used though.

Directions

1.  Rinse flat-iron steak and pat dry.  Sprinkle salt and pepper onto both sides of the steak .  I didn't measure, but I gave both sides I nice dusting of both.

2.  Pour balsamic vinegar into a sauce pan.  I used about 1 cup of vinegar, but could have gotten by with less, maybe 1/2 cup.  Turn heat on high and begin whisking until vinegar begins to slightly boil.  Make sure you are always stirring the vinegar or it will burn.

3.  I whisked for about 20 minutes to get the desired syrupy consistency.  I added sugar to sweet the sauce up slightly.

4.  Once vinegar has turned into a syrup, add 1 tablespoon of garlic.  We love garlic, which is why I used to much.  It's your decision really.

5.  Brush balsamic vinegar reduction onto both sides of steak.  

6.  Pan-fry the steak for up to 5 minutes on each side.  Remove from heat and slice steak into strips.  Add strips back to pan until the middle of each strip is light pink.  I prepare our steaks medium-well, so the pink is almost completely gone.

I would recommend keeping a bit of the glaze to spread on top of the cooked steak, just in case someone wants more of a punch of flavor.

And that's it!  We never have anything like this for dinner because of the expense.  Jarred got a nice gift card to our supermarket for Christmas and I bought us some nice meats with it.  I serve raw veggies as a 'salad' and cook up some butter beans/lima beans and green beans or corn.  All with a crescent roll!

Cooking for Jarred, especially when he is sick makes me happy.  Today has actually been a good day, unlike yesterday.  But the past is the past.  And we move forward :)  

There is Joy in Life...

...even when it's hard to see. 

I decided to take today and really focus on the good things that happened.  Some days, blessings abound.  Others, well, I feel I can only be thankful I'm still breathing.  And I sometimes may feel these both in the same day, same hour, same minute.  

I make a point to not think about the obvious blessings.  Because truthfully, mentions of "Well, you may not _____, but at least you _____" or "Even though you don't have _____, at least you have ______" irritate me and don't make me any more thankful or cheerful about my current situation.  So I try to be very specific when thinking of good things that happened to me.

With that said, here's my list of good things that happened today:

1.  I didn't set an alarm after Jarred went to work, but I woke up earlier than I have all week.

2.  It was sunny outside today.

3.  I actually mopped the floors this afternoon.  It made me feel proud because I mopped before we left on our trip and I'm trying harder to keep things clean.

4.  Lucas, always and for everything.  

5.  I made crescent rolls to go with tonight's dinner.  I had about 4 of them and didn't feel guilty.

6.  Sweet tea has been aplenty.

7.  I made cinnamon streusel muffins tonight.  Jarred and I each had one and they were good.

8.  I hung a wreath next to our front door with 2 thumb tacks.  I'm not sure whether it will stay, but it looks nice.

9.  I walked into our living space this morning and smelled our apple cinnamon-scented plug-in.  It makes me happy to smell something nice and not cigarettes from neighbors that smoke right outside.

10.  Jarred is finally getting over a bout of sickness.  While he still needs to take medicine, he's not moping around with the 'man-cold' glum look on his face.

11.  I've kept my Valentine's Day candle on the warmer all day.

12.  Class was cancelled.

I should probably do this on a daily basis.  Days are long and there's plenty of time for good things to happen.  I look at the list and I think all the good things counteract the bad things.  Like having to pay a credit card bill and watching our bank account dwindle, having a project due, or an upstairs neighbor that won't shut up.  It's definitely easier to tick off a bunch of bad things, but that won't solve anything because the bad things are things I can't change (at least not now).  It takes effort to decide to be happy.  But it's easier to create a happy situation than a negative one.

For today, I think it's safe to say that joy wins it.

Potato Soup: Redeux

When I thought out this post, I was certain that I had featured this soup on M+J.  But apparently not.  I looked on my camera and found old pictures of the soup-making process that I meant to share.  But I never got around to it obviously.  So the title is really a lie.  There's no re-do except for in my head.  I've always wanted to post a redeux however, so the title remains.

I love this recipe so much -- I guess Jarred does too.  He at least eats it.

I love potatoes already, but adding butter, milk, cheese, bacon, and sour cream makes something magical.  It's creamy and savory -- the latter being my favorite taste bud to tweak.  I have made this soup so many times over and have really worked the ingredients to make a near-perfect soup.

Here's your ingredients line-up.  Please note that if a specific measurement is not given, that means to add as much or little as you want.  But I will gladly give you my recommendations.

 

(Can't see the measurements?  Click the picture for a better look!)

I make this soup for 2 people , but my measurements could make about 8 bowls.  Double the recipe if serving to a family.  Trust me, there will be leftovers and they will be eaten! 

Directions

1.  Bring 6 cups of water to a boil.  Peel and cube 5 medium/large potatoes while the water is heating up.  Once water begins to boil, drop in potato cubes.  Cook until tender.

2.  As the potatoes are boiling, melt down butter in a pot.  Add 1/3 cup flour to make a thick butter paste.

3.  Slowly add one can chicken broth to butter paste.  Pouring the entire can at once creates clumps.  Once broth is incorporated, slowly add the milk.  Heat liquid until hot, stirring occasionally.

4.  Carefully add cubed potatoes to the pot.  Do not stir potatoes too much or they will break apart and dissolve.  

5.  Add cheese to the soup mixture.  I usually use about 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese.  But I've also used Velveeta which makes for a creamier soup.  If I use the process cheese, I use 1/3 of a block. 

6.  Once cheese is melted into the soup, add 4 oz sour cream to mixture.  Use less if the family is not wild about sour cream.  But I insist on using at least a little because it gives the soup a nice kick and makes it even creamier.  

7.  Ladle soup into bowls and top soup with bacon, cheese, and/or green onion if desired.  Enjoy!

I normally serve the soup with some kind of vegetable.  Today we ate cut up bell pepper with it.  Raw veggies are so much cheaper and easier to prepare than salads.  While I appreciate a good salad, the ingredients can get a bit pricey and lettuce from my supermarket is terrible.  Jarred and I have begun buying frozen vegetables with only a few fresh (cucumber, tomato, pepper) here and there.

Next up, I will be featuring a steak with balsamic glaze recipe later in the week.  Bon appetit!

These Times Are Hard

When Jarred and I were coming home from seeing our NC families, we finally turned on the radio an hour away from home.  I love Top 40 music and keep up-to-date with current music.  But a song came on I didn't recognize.  It was The Script's "For the First Time"

Listening to it, I got choked up and began crying.  I don't think Jarred noticed.  The lead singer kept repeating "We're trying to make it work but man, these times are hard".

I feel hopeless a lot.  Jarred and I so desperately want a home.  But it's only a dream we have right now.  We both understand that not everything will fall into our laps.  In fact, nothing does.  But I sometimes wonder if we're the only ones struggling.  Are we the only ones with student loans weighing us down?  Are we the only ones that want a home so badly but can't even begin to save for a down payment due to bills and aforementioned student loans?  Are we the only ones who aren't throwing caution to the wind and starting a family, regardless of finances?  Because it seems that way, especially with so many of our friends getting married and immediately beginning their lives.  But of course I know Jarred and I aren't alone.

Maybe all those who are struggling feel the same -- alone.  And with that knowledge, I try to think positive.  Jarred and I will appreciate our someday home so much more than those who don't have to spend time saving and waste tears bitterly wishing some luck would come their way.  From car repairs to medical bills to gas prices and outrageous utility bills, sometimes I feel that Jarred and I can't catch a break.

I think the one thing we're not doing is looking towards God.  Even though He knows how many times I've shed tears over our life, He still wants me to talk to Him about it.  I know God can't magically provide us with enough money to buy a home, but he can give us the drive to keep moving towards our goal.  I will admit to Him though, even as humans go, I am very impatient.  And envious of others.  While I don't mean to sound like all I want to do is 'keep up with the Jonses', I just want to have a place my husband and I can call home.  No matter how small.  I can do without new cars, clothes, and everything else.  I just want a home.

In the end, I know God hears me, but it's difficult to believe that our situation is going to get better any time soon.

Wistful Thinking

I may be blog-happy, considering this will be the 4th blog I have (3rd in operation).  I now feel that each blog has its specific purpose and don't feel right deviating from it.  M+J will always and forever be the blog that started it all for me.  But sometimes I feel stifled by its lack of 'me' face time.  Yes, I write about my life with my husband, but the blog has more so developed into a long list retelling the rigmarole of daily life.

Traveling Menagerie is very special because I don't feel the need to write in it constantly.  I consider it my cryptic blog because there are so many things I want to say but can't.  I wanted a platform to speak my mind in the form of song verses or poems.  I don't have my comment section turned on since no one needs to understand or interject their opinions.

I wanted to begin anew.  Fresh.  I wanted a chance to make a blog about myself, my new life as a new wife, and all the wishing that goes into the first years of marriage.  I'm dealing with much heartbreak about owning a home and interior decorating and even starting a family soon.  Heartbreak because those things are completely unattainable at the moment.

I've told my husband that I seem to go from wanting one thing, to finally getting that one thing, to wanting something else.  It's a vicious cycle and it will more than likely continue.  I want an outlet to share my feelings.  Maybe share things I've learned about cleaning and baking and dealing with my sweet (albeit silly) husband.

I'm ready!