I figured I'd write an open letter about why I left my job yesterday. I know it was completely out of the blue (well, not for me) but there was a lot of thought put into it.
Frankly, I had been unhappy at my job since around October, but thought it would be better to tough it out through the holidays because I would be making some good money. I didn't want to put Jarred in a position of having to support me (This is before we were engaged).
Christmas was very hectic for me. I had holiday activities that I really wanted to do with my family, but couldn't because I had to go into work everyday, just getting one day off each week. Now remember, this was a part-time job for me. I shouldn't have had to go into work that often.
I think from one stand-point, Christmas really did it for me. I know my boss was under a lot of stress, but I'd even say to her face that she should have learned how to manage her frustration better. There were a few episodes where she would blow up at an employee for something piddly. I got the worst 'tongue-lashing' of my life during the holidays because I forgot to fill in each employees time cards one week. My own parents have never yelled at me like she did that time!
I don't want to say anything bad about anyone I worked with because I liked them all. Yes, I did like my boss. But, as I told her yesterday, it's very difficult to work for someone who likes to micromanage everything. In the fast-paced world of retail, you can't micromanage, and if you try to, you'll eventually fall behind.
I'm sure that every employee would agree with me that Mondays suck for working. Our boss was very huffy and frustrated most Mondays. Everything you do is wrong, or you're not doing it fast enough, or you're not taking enough care when you do it. Again, micromanaging.
This past Monday was really no different, but my boss's frustration with whatever was evident from the moment I said hello to her. I got scolded about something as I was putting my coat away before heading out to the sales floor. I got scolded again right after I clocked in. The assistant manager and I were given our tasks. I didn't fully understand what I was supposed to do. Boss's frustration mounted substantially. I entered some inventory into the computer given to me on a sheet of paper. I printed off my finished inventory log from the computer. I put it away. Thirty minutes later, I began counting out a deposit and was asked if I had finished my inventory assignment. I said yes. Boss went digging, found the inventory sheets and dropped her head, chuckled, and let out a yell. There were customers in the store. She yelled for me to close the cash drawer and to please, for the love of God, finish what I start. I apparently had not manually written down the inventory as well as entering it into the computer. This was a new procedure to me. Boss didn't want to hear it.
And that's when I got really angry.
Monday wasn't the first time that same scenario has been played out. Not at all.
I just think my feelings about the store came to a head Monday. I was sick of it. There's nothing else to say besides for I WAS JUST PLAIN SICK OF ALL THE BULL!
I came home, cried to Jarred about how unhappy I was. That my 'misery' was affecting every other aspect of my life. I would come home from work and yell at Jarred about stupid things because I was physically and emotionally drained.
I got Jarred's permission to quit. I didn't know whether I actually would because I had tried to quit back in December and had pussed out at the last second because I was scared of my boss's response.
That next day, I was sick to my stomach. Mom came over to see Lukie (who got groomed!) and I talked to her about it. I had to go into work at 6 that night and was not looking forward to it. I had 60% made up my mind that I was going to march in there and quit on the spot.
Mom told me to go ahead and get it over with.
I decided not to let emotions get in the way. But I was still a nervous wreck. I don't remember being that nervous in a long time. I walked into the store around 4 in the afternoon. I asked Boss whether I could talk to her. She and I walked to the back. I handed her my keys and apron and told her that I just came in to resign. That I couldn't work in the store any longer. She asked why. I said that I was very unhappy working there and had been for 3 or 4 months.
I was under stress. I had other things that needed my attention far more than this (what should have been) little part-time job. Boss gave me a hug and said she understood, but was sad to see me go. I told her that I had enjoyed working here for the most part, but that there were more negatives than positives at this point in time.
I signed my AIF form and left.
I felt like I had made the wrong decision as soon as I left the store.
I called Mom. She told me I made the right decision.
I cried a bit.
I walked around the mall a little, bought a little purse to take with me on the honeymoon, and went out to the car to call Jarred and Dad.
Today I feel great. I know I made the right decision. I'm sorry that my leaving so abruptly affected other employees' schedules. But I had to do this for me, and I won't apologize for looking out for myself and my happiness/sanity.
I will work again. Just not retail, if I can help it.
But for now I am taking a break.
I would have left the store (on better terms) around May. The family is going on vacation during the summer, and we have wedding planning to do, and an actual wedding to go through. I wouldn't have had time to come into work. After coming back from a honeymoon, I'd like to see whether I could find a little job somewhere that would give me a few hours a week. That'd be great.
But for now, I am going to enjoy just being a student, doggie mommy, and house-fiancee. Haha.
P.S: It doesn't matter who reads this. Everything that was said in this post was discussed at my meeting with Boss.
